I've always been fascinated with people's stories of how they got to where they are. I find it interesting to learn about the different pathways they took, the opportunities they had, and the choices they made. To be honest, when I was younger many times I was interested because I wanted to know the steps they took to get where they were so that I could do the same thing. If it worked for them, and I could do what they did then I would succeed too.
As an educator and coach, two of the most frequent questions I am asked are: "Am I doing this right?" and "Can you just tell me how to do it so I can get the good grade/reach my personal goal.” These questions are being asked by students and clients of all ages. My response is always the same: “There is no right way and there is no wrong way; you have to find your way.”
When facilitating a dance class, my students can be be frustrated by this response, but they do end up letting go and begin to actual engage in the process. They begin making their own decisions, trying different things out, problem solving, collaborating, etc. I find the most enjoyment watching this process. Then I get to see their final product, which in many cases is way beyond anything I would have "told" them to do. Now, I realize as we get older and my clients are applying to colleges or making career/major life changes, there may be more at stake than choreographing a short dance study, but my advice stays the same.
We have been told our whole lives by other people what we should do and how we should do it but what do they really know? They are basing it on beliefs they have learned from others or their own beliefs. There may be a “typical” track that one takes to get from point A to point B. For example, if you want to become a doctor, you typically want to get into a high academic college/university and make sure you have a solid transcript in order to get into medical school. Is that to say if you don’t accomplish this “track,” you won’t become a doctor? No, not at all. Is it guaranteed that if you follow this “track” precisely that you will get the outcome you want? Again, nothing is guaranteed.
We are all individuals. We have different backgrounds, different passions, different wants and desires. So it is only natural that our stories and pathways are also going to be different. When you finally release yourself from the idea that there is a "right" way to do something or get somewhere and you begin to believe in yourself, in your ability to make decisions to create your own beautiful story, that is when you find "your" way. And you know what, that is the best way. Making decisions that resonate with your authentic self whether that is the "more typical" path or not is always the correct decision for you. Your path doesn't need to look like the person’s path next to you. In fact, it shouldn't.
I still love hearing people's stories, but now I listen with a different lens. I love them because I love hearing the many ways people have found happiness and purpose in their lives. Each person you meet has a story and his/her story is inspiring. Take the time to ask and listen mindfully. And don’t be afraid to share your story because it, too, is inspiring and perfect.
Do you need help finding “your way?” I would love to guide and support you through your process! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up your FREE 30 min discovery call and to hear more about packages.