Learning is Exhausting: Why Growth Activates Stress + How to Stay with the Process

Jan 2026

Hello Community—I hope everyone’s 2026 is off to a good start. And if it’s not, that’s OK too. Every day is a chance for a new beginning or even a new “year.”

I kicked off my year by spending a few weeks in southern Florida. While I was there delivering some in-person client facilitation work, I also gave myself permission to slow down. I read, enjoyed the sun and warmer weather, cheered on friends running the Disney World marathon, and played around in the parks. It was a really nourishing blend of work, play, and rest.

Since the end of last year, I’ve also been deep in a continuing education course called COR.E Dynamics as part of renewing my ICF PCC coaching credential. I definitely identify as a lifelong learner. And yet, something surfaced for me during this program that felt important to name…

Learning is exhausting!

Learning is Exhausting:

Why Growth Activates Stress + How to Stay with the Process

We talk a lot about the importance of learning. Learning helps us grow, both personally and professionally. And as we’ve explored in previous newsletters, growth is necessary for creating a fulfilling, engaging, and satisfying life.

At the same time, growth inevitably brings change. And change asks us to step into something new and unknown.

What we talk about far less when it comes to learning is this:

Learning is stressful. And because of that, it can be deeply exhausting.

Not because something is wrong, but because of how learning actually works.

At its core, learning is the acquisition of new knowledge, skills, behaviors, or values that lead to lasting change. And lasting change asks us to do things like:

• Try something new
  

• Step outside what’s familiar
  

• Risk being bad at something
  

• Tolerate uncertainty and discomfort
  
  

All of that activates the stress cycle.

Stress isn’t inherently negative. There is a form of stress known as eustress, the kind that stretches us, energizes us, and supports growth. Learning often falls squarely into this category.

This has been coming up frequently in my client sessions recently. I see it with groups of leaders building new skills to manage their teams more effectively, clients starting new jobs or stepping into promotions, and especially clients who are new parents.

These experiences require them to learn a lot, often all at once.

Where learning can tip into distress, the kind of stress that depletes us, is when it is paired with unrealistic expectations, pressure to be “good” immediately, or a lack of space to practice and integrate.

Many of my clients are navigating some combination of the following:

• New roles with steeper learning curves
  

• Increased responsibility without a clear roadmap
  

• Personal transitions layered on top of professional growth
  
  

It’s not that they aren’t capable. It’s that they’re learning while navigating full lives, full roles, and full plates.

During the learning process, it’s common to feel worse before you feel better, almost as if you’re moving backward before you start to see progress.

There’s a framework I often return to when normalizing this experience: the learning ladder.

• Unconscious incompetence – You don’t know what you don’t know.
  

• Conscious incompetence – You now know and realize you’re not very good yet.
  

• Conscious competence – You can do the thing, but it requires focus and effort.
  

• Unconscious competence – The skill becomes second nature.
  
  

Think about learning to drive a car.

At first, you were thinking about everything. Mirrors, pedals, speed, signals. It was exhausting. Over time,  with practice, driving became more automatic. You stopped thinking about how to drive and could instead focus on where you were going.

This is where many people get stuck: conscious incompetence.

You attend a training. You learn a new framework or tool. You try it once and it doesn’t go the way you expected.

So you get frustrated. You decide it “doesn’t work.” And you abandon it.

Not because the tool is bad, but because competence and confidence come after practice.

Confidence isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you build through repetition.

That’s why, in every workshop I facilitate and every coaching engagement I’m part of, practice is non-negotiable. You don’t just learn concepts. You try them out loud, in real time, and in lower-stakes environments.

It’s the same reason sports teams don’t just talk about strategy and then show up on game day. They practice consistently so that when it’s time to perform, the skills are already in the body.

Practice builds familiarity. Familiarity builds confidence. And confidence allows you to stay present under pressure.

The same is true in the performing arts. Rehearsal is where performers try things, forget lines, miss steps, adjust timing, and build trust with their scene partners. Rehearsal is where learning happens.

By the time performers step on stage, they are not thinking about whether they’re doing it “right.” That kind of self-monitoring pulls you out of presence. Instead, they trust themselves and each other enough to stay fully engaged in the moment.

That trust only comes from practice.

There’s one more piece we often miss. Learning also requires pause.

Without breaks, reflection, and integration, learning doesn’t stick. It just overwhelms. When you overload yourself with information without space to digest it, you burn out rather than grow.

Sustainable learning looks like:

• Focused effort
  

• Followed by rest
  

• Then reflection
  

• Then integration
  
  

This is how the nervous system stays regulated and how learning becomes embodied, not just understood intellectually.

If learning is both stressful and necessary, if practice builds confidence over time, and if rest helps learning stick, then the real questions become:

*How are you relating to the learning you’re being asked to do right now?
*What expectations are you holding about how quickly you “should” be good at it?
*Where are you practicing, and what kind of environments are you giving yourself to learn in?
*How much space are you allowing for rest, reflection, and integration along the way?

Growth doesn’t require perfection. It requires patience, support, and compassion for the process.

Learning is exhausting. And that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re stretching.

P.S. Much of my work with individuals, teams, and organizations focuses on supporting people through seasons of learning, growth, and transition in ways that are challenging and sustainable. This includes 1:1 coaching, leadership development and training programs, and keynote speaking engagements. If you or your team are navigating a learning curve and want support that builds confidence without burnout, I’d love to connect.