The Goo Stage: The Messy Middle of Becoming
May 2025
Hello Community — Before we get into today’s newsletter, I wanted to say thank you! After last month’s Victory Lap newsletter, so many of you shared your own moments of celebration, growth, and breakthrough. Whether it was a quiet inner win or a big external milestone, I felt honored to witness the ways you're showing up for yourselves. It’s a reminder that we’re all on our own paths—but we’re better when we’re cheering each other on.
And speaking of transformation…
With Memorial Day weekend marking the unofficial start of summer, I’ve found myself noticing more butterflies lately. I light up every time I see one. They’re one of my favorites! Not just for their beauty or grace—but for what they represent.
The courage to become something new.
The Goo Stage:
The Messy Middle of Becoming
We often admire the butterfly for its final form—the delicate wings, the graceful flight, the vibrant colors. But we rarely talk about what it takes to get there. And we almost never talk about the most vital—and most uncomfortable—part of the process:
The Goo Stage.
(Yes, that’s a real thing—scientifically known as histolysis, the phase when the caterpillar literally digests itself inside the chrysalis and becomes a cellular soup before reforming into something entirely new.)
It’s messy. It’s formless. It’s uncertain. And yet—it’s essential.
I’ve always been fascinated by the transformation of the butterfly. But lately, what’s caught my heart is not the before or after—but the in-between. The chrysalis. The brave pause.
We often forget: the caterpillar is land-bound. It crawls. It climbs. It sees only what’s in front of it. And yet, one day, something inside whispers: There’s more. And so, in an act of pure courage, it builds a chrysalis.
(Fun fact: a cocoon is for a moth. Butterflies build chrysalides.)
It surrenders everything it knows—its identity, its structure, its form—and allows itself to dissolve. If the caterpillar weren’t brave enough to create that chrysalis and fully surrender to the goo, we wouldn’t have butterflies.
And butterflies? They don’t just symbolize beauty. They pollinate, support ecosystems, and sustain biodiversity. Their transformation brings life—to themselves and to the world around them.
But maybe the most remarkable thing?
When they emerge, butterflies have choice. They’re no longer bound to the ground. They can crawl or fly. They get to explore more terrain—land and sky. Their transformation gives them freedom.
I’ve been feeling like I’m in an extended goo stage myself.
Since going full-time in my business almost 4 years ago, there are moments when I feel wings forming—glimpses of clarity, expansion, momentum. But in other areas? I still feel like I’m mid-melt. Some parts of me are crawling. Others are flying. And then there are the parts still dissolving into the unknown.
And I see this in my clients too—individuals, leaders, teams, entire organizations. So many are in the midst of deep transformation. Shedding old stories. Questioning what's next. Wondering if the new form will take shape.
Whether it’s personal growth, a team navigating a major shift, or an organization reinventing its culture—transformation is rarely clean or linear. The goo shows up in:
Identity shifts (Who am I now?)
Career pivots (Am I allowed to want something else?)
Leadership changes (Can I really do this?)
Team culture evolution (What do we want to become?)
The goo is not glamorous. But it’s where everything begins again.
And none of it happens without the chrysalis—the sacred space that allows the formless stage to unfold. In coaching and in life, we need that container. We need places where it’s safe to melt and become. Without it, transformation stalls. Potential never gets realized.
And here’s the thing about the goo: it creates stress.
Not all stress is harmful. In fact, in the stress management work I do, we talk about eustress—the kind of stress that comes with growth, challenge, and positive change. Metamorphosis is the ultimate eustress. Even if change is happening to you, you still get to decide how you move through it.
You can approach the unknown from fear and resistance.
Or from agency and empowerment.
Here are four ways I help people work with the stress of transformation, using the Energy Leadership™ framework and principles of healthy stress management:
Energy Awareness – Notice how you’re experiencing the moment. Are you reacting from fear, frustration, or curiosity? What’s the lens you're looking through?
Nervous System Regulation – Use tools like breathwork, movement, mindfulness, and rest to bring your body back to safety.
Mindset & Meaning-Making – Shift the story. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” try, “What is this asking me to become?”
Support & Sustainability – Build your chrysalis. Who are the people, practices, and spaces that help hold you while you dissolve and rebuild?
The goo will always feel uncertain. But you don’t have to go through it alone. And you don’t have to fear it. This middle part isn’t a detour. It’s the heart of the transformation.
Whether you're navigating change on a personal level—or leading a team, managing a department, or guiding an organization—these transitions ask us to show up with courage, clarity, and a willingness to evolve.
Take a moment to reflect on the following questions:
Where in your life are you currently navigating transformation?
What does your version of the “goo stage” feel or look like right now?
What old form—or story—might you be ready to let go of?
What would help you feel safer or more supported as you move through uncertainty?
What kind of freedom or choice might be possible on the other side of this?
How would it feel to fully trust your own becoming?
Let yourself be where you are.
The goo isn’t failure. It’s becoming.
P.S. I work with individuals and organizations navigating transformation through 1:1 coaching, team workshops, and leadership development experiences. If your team is going through a goo stage—or you're leading through one—reach out. I'd love to support you.