Take YourF*cking Victory Lap: What if you’ve already done the hardest part?

May 2025

Hello, Community – In last month’s newsletter, we explored the difference between pain, discomfort, and suffering—and how learning to name what you’re actually feeling can shift the way you respond. That reflection sparked some beautiful conversations, and I’ve been sitting with what it really means to listen to yourself and your body… not just in the hard moments, but also when you’re standing at the edge of something new.

This month, in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to offer a different kind of invitation: To pause. To acknowledge how far you’ve come.
And to celebrate the parts of yourself that have been quietly growing, healing, and preparing—without needing to “fix” anything first.

That theme came to life for me recently in a powerful (and honestly unexpected) way.

Because sometimes what keeps us stuck isn’t the struggle itself—it’s the part of us that hasn’t yet allowed the celebration of everything we’ve already overcome.

 Take Your  F*cking Victory Lap:

What if you’ve already done the hardest part?

At the end of April, I was co-facilitating a three-day leadership offsite retreat at Mohonk Mountain House for the New York State Association of Independent Schools (NYSAIS). The group was made up of incredible educators, leaders, and administrators from across New York State and City private schools. I was there to teach coaching skills to enhance their leadership—tools they could take back to their classrooms, their teams, and their lives.

One of the things I love most about facilitating any training is that I get to learn from my participants, too. During this particular retreat, there’s an exercise where they actually coach me (yes, really). It’s called The Playground—a space where participants practice skills like asking effective questions, holistic listening, acknowledging and validating, and mirroring back. As a group, they take turns coaching me as the client.

I’ve done this exercise many times over the years, but this time was different.
Something major unlocked for me.

My coaching topic that day was about feeling frustrated and stuck in certain aspects of my business. I have a clear vision of what I want it to evolve into—I always have—and yet, it hasn’t felt like things are moving forward.

(Quick side note: I’m also in the process of stepping away from a partnership I’ve been part of for the past few years. While I’m proud of myself for letting go of something that’s no longer aligned, there’s still the lingering fear: What will fill that space? Will anything? But more on that in a future newsletter.)

As the participants practiced their skills (very well, I might add—the facilitator in me was proud!), we started to uncover the real topic underneath it all: visibility.

If I want to move toward my vision more fully and boldly, I need to put myself out there in bigger ways—and allow myself to be fully seen.

When they asked me to reflect on what was getting in the way, I realized that old fears, beliefs, assumptions, and hurts from my past life as a performer were creeping in.

I remembered how hard it was to be “seen” in an industry that constantly judges you—especially when your body doesn’t fit the mold. And how those wounds still make it scary, even now, to step into the spotlight of my own life and work.

I was also reminded of the challenges, doubts, and rejections I faced while building a dance company or when I was creating both  the dance & musical theater and coaching programs at the private school where I used to work full time.

And being an entrepreneur, while it has its perks— let’s be real, it also comes with a lot of uncertainty, late nights, rejected pitches, and moments of “am I even doing this right?”

And then it hit me.

All those years of performing, teaching, coaching, writing, and building this business—the rehearsals, the late nights, the rejections, the figuring-it-out-as-you-go, the breakthroughs, the tears— they’ve all been part of my training cycle.

And just like with marathon training (if you’re new here, I’m an avid runner), the race itself?
That’s the victory lap.

The real work has already been done.
The resilience has already been built.
The foundation is already there.

Now, the invitation is to trust it. To own it.

So right there, in a room full of education leaders and professionals, I declared—after giving a quick heads-up for the language—that it’s time for me to take my f*cking victory lap.

I’m done hiding.
I’m done downplaying my wins.

I’m done worrying about how others might respond.

It’s time to embrace the spotlight—and be in my f*cking victory lap season.

Coaching, at its best, helps us find the real story beneath the surface.

It’s easy to get stuck in the symptoms—or blame something outside ourselves:
“I feel blocked.”
“I don’t know what’s next.”
“I’m afraid to make the leap.”
“If my schedule weren’t so busy... If my boss gave me more freedom... If the timing were better...”

But those are just different costumes the same root wears—fear, unworthiness, the belief that we have to earn our right to be seen, celebrated, successful.

That’s what came up for me in that coaching demo.

I realized I’ve been so focused on what’s next—on pushing, fixing, improving—that I forgot to pause and witness the transformation that’s already happened. To honor the fact that I’ve become the person I was working so hard to grow into. And that I deserve to let that person be seen.

I used to think celebration was something that came after success. But what if it’s actually a tool for success? What if celebrating your growth is what gives you the courage to take your next step?

Because let’s be real: visibility takes guts.
It’s one thing to say “I want to grow.”
It’s another to say “I’m already enough. And I’m ready to show the f*ck up.”

If you’re in the training cycle right now, I see you. That season matters too. That’s where you build the resilience, confidence, strength, and trust you’ll need to carry you forward. 

But maybe—just maybe—you’ve done more work than you give yourself credit for.
And maybe what’s next isn’t more hustle, more healing, more proving.
Maybe what’s next… is your victory lap.

Take a moment to reflect on the following questions:

What if you’ve already done the hardest part?
What season are you in right now—training, transitioning, or ready to celebrate?
Where have you been growing quietly behind the scenes?
What part of your journey deserves a victory lap?

You don’t need permission to honor how far you’ve come. Sometimes the boldest move is simply choosing to see yourself—and let others see you too.

Ready to take your victory lap? I’m cheering you on! 💜