The Heart of Connection: Navigating the Complexity of Relationships

March 2025

Hello, Community – Happy Women’s History Month! Each year, Women’s History Month has a theme, and this year’s is “Moving Forward Together.” A recent  USA Today article describes this theme as a celebration of women who have dedicated their lives to education, mentorship, and leadership—shaping the minds and futures of all generations.

While I work with people of all genders, many of my current clients are women—from coaching two groups in a women in technology leadership program to supporting working moms through the  Maven Clinic platform. Being part of these spaces has deepened my appreciation for the ways we show up for one another.

One topic that keeps surfacing in these spaces? Relationships. And not just romantic ones—all relationships: family, coworkers, friends, children, strangers, and significant others.

The Heart of Connection:

Navigating the Complexity of Relationships

Most people immediately think of romantic partnerships when discussing relationships, but we are in relationship anytime we are in relation to someone else—family, friends, colleagues, clients, or even ourselves.

In psychology, these connections are known as interpersonal relationships—how we relate to others. But just as important is our intrapersonal relationship—the one we have with ourselves.

While romantic relationships tend to get the most attention when we talk about “working on relationships,” the truth is that every connection—whether with a significant other, colleague, friend, or family member—should be a partnership built on mutual respect, communication, and understanding. Every interaction is an opportunity to connect, support, and engage with one another in a meaningful way.

Last week, I attended a women’s book club to discuss The Let Them Theory. While we explored the book,the conversation took an unexpected turn into something even more intriguing: the complexities of relationships—particularly how little we talk about the challenges outside of romance.

As a society, we have plenty of tools and conversations around romantic breakups, but we rarely acknowledge the pain of friendship breakups, family estrangement, or even shifts in professional relationships. 

Yet, the quality of our personal and professional relationships impacts our well-being, career growth, and overall fulfillment.

Relationships are hard!

And at the foundation of all healthy relationships—whether with others or ourselves—is Emotional Intelligence.

The Four Pillars of Emotional Intelligence

1️⃣ Self-Awareness – Recognizing and understanding your emotions, triggers, and patterns.
2️⃣ Self-Management – Regulating emotions, setting boundaries, and responding instead of reacting.
3️⃣ Relational Awareness – Tuning into the emotions, needs, and perspectives of others.
4️⃣ Relational Management – Building trust, resolving conflicts, and fostering collaboration.

Meaningful relationships require trust, vulnerability, openness, acknowledgment, curiosity, and reciprocity. Without them, relationships become one-sided and unsustainable.

In many ways, we’ve lost the art of conversation—the ability to sit with someone’s emotions without rushing to fix them, to ask questions with genuine curiosity, and to truly listen. Deep, fulfilling relationships require more than surface-level interactions; they demand that we show up for each other in a way that makes space for emotions, dialogue, and mutual care.

The depth and quality of our relationships directly correlate to the depth and quality of our relationship with ourselves. The work is both internal and external. The more we cultivate self-awareness and self-management, the stronger our relational awareness and relational management become. 

We must extend the same trust, validation, curiosity, and reciprocity inward—because when we dismiss our own emotions, fail to set boundaries, or ignore our needs, it impacts every other connection in our lives.

If you’re thinking, Okay, Stephanie, but how do I actually improve my relationships?—you’re not alone. 

Maybe you’re feeling stuck in certain relationships or unsure how to make them stronger. 

Here are some simple, practical tools you can use in any relationship—personal, professional, and self—to strengthen emotional intelligence and build deeper, healthier connections.

⭐ Name It to Tame It (Self-Awareness)– When emotions arise, take a moment to label them. Instead of saying “I am stressed,” try: “I’m feeling overwhelmed because I have too many deadlines.” You are not your emotions; naming emotions reduces their intensity and gives you clarity on what you need.

⭐ Pause & Regulate (Self-Management) – Before reacting, take a breath. Try square breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4) or use a grounding exercise (name 5 things you see, 4 you touch, etc.).

⭐ Ask More Questions (Relational Awareness & Management) – Conversations feel shallow when we don’t ask enough questions. Be curious! Instead of assuming, ask open-ended questions like “What was that like for you?” or “How do you feel about that?”

⭐ Listen to Understand (Relational Awareness) – Stop planning your response and really listen. Reflect back what you hear and pay attention to body language. Often, people don’t need solutions—they just need to be heard.

⭐ Acknowledge & Validate (Relational Management) – Instead of minimizing someone’s feelings, affirm them: “That sounds really difficult” or “It makes sense to feel that way.” This builds trust and emotional safety in both personal and professional settings.

⭐ Set Clear Boundaries (Self-Management & Relational Management) – Communicate needs, expectations, and limits clearly. This might mean saying NO to obligations that drain you.

⭐ Celebrate & Appreciate (Relational Awareness & Management) – People thrive when they feel valued. In personal relationships, say: “I appreciate you showing up for me.” At work, recognize effort: “I see the hard work you put into this.”

Even with the best tools, not every relationship is meant to last forever—and that’s okay. Growth often means recognizing when a relationship has run its course - including when it’s time to leave a job. Letting go doesn’t mean failure; it means honoring what no longer serves you.

The Let Them Theory reminds us that sometimes, the healthiest choice is to allow people to be who they are without trying to change them. But within that, there’s also a “Let Me” component—Let me honor my needs, my boundaries, and my emotional well-being.

Relationships are complex, evolving, and deeply tied to how you show up for yourself and others. 

The more you commit to self-awareness, emotional regulation, and meaningful communication, the stronger and more fulfilling your connections become.

Take a moment to reflect on this Relationship Check-in Exercise:

Identify both a relationship that feels fulfilling and one that feels challenging.

Reflect on whether the key elements above exist in both relationships. 

Where do they thrive? 

Where are they missing?

Consider one small action you could take to either strengthen a connection or bring clarity to a difficult one.

Hit reply and to share your reflections—I’d love to hear from you!