Ditch the Protection: The Armor Worked…Until It Didn’t

April 2025

Hello, Community – While Spring is taking its time to settle in here in NYC, there are glimpses of what’s coming. On a recent run in Central Park, I noticed the cherry blossoms starting to bloom—soft signs of change, slow but steady.

Nature always reminds me: we can’t rush the seasons. And the same is true in our own lives. Growth takes time—and often asks us to let go before we can move forward.

Last month, I shared some reflections on self-compassion—on how we speak to ourselves when we fall short or feel like we’ve failed. That inner dialogue shapes so much of our experience, especially during seasons of uncertainty or growth.

This month, I’ve been thinking about another layer of that inner work: what we hold onto in the name of safety. The stories, habits, or identities that once protected us—but may now be the very things keeping us stuck. Whether it's in how we lead, how we connect, or how we navigate stress, sometimes the real shift begins when we're willing to take off the armor.

Ditch the Protection:

The Armor Worked…Until It Didn’t

Like many people these days, I use my phone to pay for way too many things. It’s been super convenient—grabbing a coffee from my favorite local spot, indulging in the occasional retail therapy, and most often, paying for the subway.

But over the past few weeks, something kept going wrong. I’d double-click the side button, wait for Face ID… and nothing. Instead of unlocking, the phone would just stay locked. The first few times, I brushed it off as a random glitch. But then it kept happening. Again and again. Frustrated, I started wondering if something was wrong with my phone.

Then one day at the subway turnstile, it happened again. I tried several times to get it to work—while the line behind me grew and my anxiety along with it. Not only did I miss my train, but I could also feel the tension of the people I was holding up.

Out of pure frustration, I pulled off my phone case… and suddenly, it worked.

It wasn’t the phone. It was the phone case.

The same case I’d had for way too long. The one that was starting to fall apart. The one I had originally bought to protect my phone.

The irony wasn’t lost on me: the very thing I put in place to keep my phone safe was now preventing me from actually using it. It was making me late. Holding other people up. Getting in the way.

So I ditched the case.

And honestly— it felt weird at first. My phone suddenly felt so… exposed. So vulnerable. 

But also…So sleek. So light. So clean. I had forgotten how beautiful it was—the soft lavender shade I chose because it brought me joy… only to cover it up for “safety.” 

Now, not only could I see it, but it was also working more efficiently. I could access the tools I needed with ease. No friction. No force.

And of course, that got me thinking.

How often do we hold onto our own forms of protection—old beliefs, stories, habits, roles, and armor—because they once served us? Because they helped us feel safe, accepted, or strong?

But here’s the thing: what protects us in one chapter can become the barrier in the next.

I see this all the time in my work with clients—both personally and professionally. Together, we explore the “rules” they’ve been living by: beliefs passed down from family, messages absorbed from school, work, or culture, and even identities they’ve created as a form of safety or success. Many of these patterns did help them get to where they are. But eventually, those same patterns can start to limit growth, create unnecessary stress, or keep them stuck.

That’s where the Energy Leadership™ Framework and Assessment comes in. It serves as a mirror—reflecting a person’s current energetic makeup: their thoughts, emotions, and default responses. It helps them understand how these internal patterns shape their actions, relationships, and beliefs about what’s possible.

And just like my phone case, sometimes awareness alone is enough to spark change.

But real, lasting transformation? That takes intentionality—and a willingness to put that awareness into action, again and again, over time.

Because while the mindset and energy that got you here helped build your current success, they may not be what you need to get to what’s next—to the future you truly want.

Taking off the armor—whether it’s a belief, a habit, or a role—can feel uncomfortable at first. But it also creates space for more freedom, alignment, and connection. That kind of vulnerability? It’s not weakness. It’s the gateway to authenticity, trust, and growth.

And from a leadership standpoint—whether you're leading a team, a community, or simply leading your own life, this is emotional intelligence—the ability to be self-aware, open, and adaptable. It’s also what drives deeper satisfaction, stronger relationships, and sustainable success in both life and work.

April is Stress Awareness Month, 

and it’s a perfect time to explore what you might be carrying that you no longer need:

What thought patterns or coping mechanisms once protected you, 

but might be holding you back now?

Notice what you’re still protecting—and get curious about why.
What would it look like to loosen your grip and trust yourself with a little more exposure?